I know last week I said that I was done with the NBA for awhile but... I lied. Believe it or not, I was in the process of writing a piece on Derek Jeter but due to his DL stint I figured I could hold off a week. So after deciding against my half written Jeter piece I really didn't have much time to think up another gem. I had pretty much chalked up this week as being postless. But then, as I was setting up to watch the first round of the NBA Draft, I thought a Bill Simmons inspired running diary would be fun. So I sat down on the couch, grabbed some popcorn and mountain dew, and prepared myself to share my personal thoughts of the draft with you the moment they popped into my head. I tried to cut out some of the boring junk and just kept what I though were quality thoughts. So let's start this thing. Hopefully you don't find being in my head too strange..
Bring yourself to 7pm, the start of the draft coverage on ESPN. And in my head I'm saying...
7:01: Adelle, Yes! I love this song
7:04: Jeff Van Gundy is a funny little man
7:11: It's very awkward if the prospects can hear the ESPN analysts right now...
7:12: Kyrie is definitely a good guy, wherever he goes I'm rooting for him
7:13: Jimmer doesn't even try to hide his whiteness..
7:17: Well, that was awkward Jon Barry.. (Prematurely saying Rambis is fired)
7:32: WE COULD OF HAD IT ALLLLLLLLL! ROLLING IN THE DEEEEEEEEEEEP
Finally! The pre-draft bs is over and we've arrived at the moment of judgement. At this point I had already downed two cans of mountain dew, a hot pocket, and half a bag of popcorn. (Surprisingly, a impressive 0 bathroom trips had been taken! HOOOORAHHH)
7:33: Here we go! NEW JOISEEEEEEEEY!!!!!!!!
7:35: If Cleveland is reading this they should take Derek Williams and put all the pressure on the KAHHHHHHHN!
7:39: Would have liked to see how Kahn would have reacted to seeing Irving on the board with the 2 pick. Oh well, soild pick for the Cavs
7:43: Did the Cavs draft Kyrie or his dad?
7:45: Williams to the T-Wolves, not a suprise.
7:52: I love listening to foreign players take interviews.
7:56: Get'em Jeff Van Gundy!
7:57: Woah! Didn't expect Tristen Thompson here... I like him on his potential.
8:06: I have no idea who the Wizards take here...
8:07: Yes! More awkward foreign interviews!
8:08: Vesely seems like a poor man's Euro version of Blake Griffin...
8:09: "I like the John Wall game.." - Vesely (classic)
8:11: BISMACK BIYOMBO!!!!! 4 of the last 5 picks will give us irresistibly awkward interviews! Gotta love the NBA draft.
For me, this was the high point of the draft. We've gotten to see 4 awkward interviews with guys who barely speak English in the last 5 picks. Quality TV if you ask me. This is where interviewers maker their money.
8:15: (My girlfriend on trying to pronounce Bismack's name) "Why don't we just call him BB?"
8:18: I think Brandon Knight goes down as the steal of this draft. You'll see. Think Russell Westbrook.
8:24: I'm a HUGE Kemba fan. All this guys does is win. He will automatically become the leader for the Bobcats.
8:31: Any chance Jimmer converts DeMarcus Cousins and Tyreke Evans to Mormons and turn their lives around?
8:42: Am I the only one afraid of drafting a 2 guard who can't shoot?
8:46: Stu Scott might just be the coolest guy in sports.
8:48: One Morris down, one to go. On DraftExpress his best case scenario player comp says "Rasheed Wallace, without the crazy". Can't beat that.
8:53: Is that a Morris brother in the Coors Light commercial? Oh wait.. That's Ice Cube
8:55: Two Morris' down, none to go. That was adorable.
9:01: My best dressed award goes to.. Kawhi Leonard!
9:04: Schools should teach a mandatory public speaking class to potential NBA prospects.
9:09: Can the Knicks draft Jeff Van Gundy? #wewantdefense
9:12: Who did the Knicks just draft? Am I missing something? Is this an Isaiah pick? Did David Kahn just take over the New York Knicks? Is this real life?
9:16: Can Glen Grunwald, "future interim GM" of the Knicks, please look at the camera?
9:18: Jan Vesely now Chris Singleton, I'm loving the Wizards draft so far.
This was the part of the draft where I stopped knowing much about the players being taken. That is probably what influenced my next entry..
9:20: THERE'S A FIRE STARTING IN MY HEART, REACHING A FEVER PITCH AND IT'S BRINGING ME OUT THE DARK...
9:23: Didn't they say after Chris Singleton the green room was empty? Whoops..
9:26: My girlfriend has officially abandoned me on the couch... For people who bet the under on if she'd leave by the 25th pick, congratulations.
9:27: Leonard for Hill, only the 2nd trade tonight. That's very disappointing. As Van Gundy would say, I double hate that.
9:36: Every year somebody get's drafted who looks like the could use a good meal, this year it's Nolan Smith.
9:40: Was kinda hoping Faried would be a Knick, damn...
9:58: I love MarShon Brooks for the Celtics, they automatically get younger at he guard position. He doesn't have any pressure right away, can learn from some of the best.
10:04: In an attempt to seem like I'm smarter than I am I'll say that I'm surprised Hamilton dropped that far, good pick.
10:05: Apparently the Nets are getting Brooks? That makes me look stupid...
10:08: Drafted JuJuan Johnson with the Wizards in my NBA 2k11 chise last night. He had a solid first game against the Suns. That's the completely unrealistic reason I like this pick.
10:13: At 10:13 pm we finally have a high top fade off the board!
10:23: There goes the best story in the draft, Jimmy Butler.
10:27: Kinda was hoping for some more drama in this draft, Kahn you let me down.
10:31: Best tweet of the night: (On being called Carl Landry by ESPN reporter) Adopting the nickname "Carl" and and changing my last name to "Landry".. #alterego" -Landry Fields
10:33: Is David Kahn is trying to make up for his boring draft by making completely irrelevant moves before the end of the first round?
Overall, it was a fairly entertaining draft. I have to admit I was looking forward to a little more drama and trades but, oh well. I'll probably spend the rest of the night trying to figure out who the hell Iman Shumpert is. (OK, I know he is an athletic combo guard from Georgia Tech. But really? The Knicks took him with the 17th pick? Seems like a reach..) I think a lot of teams did a lot of good things, mostly the Cavs and Wizards but from what I can tell there were no Darko Milicic caliber fails. But, I guess time will be the ultimate judge of the draft and that's the way it always has been. You can fill your mind with all sorts of draft expertise but it all is just about as valuable as what the hot pockets, mountain dew, and excessive amounts of popcorn just made me do. (Oh yes! I went there.) Time, like in all things, will be the end all, be all in this draft. Who knows? Maybe the next Kobe Bryant was just taken and nobody knows it, or maybe the next Dirk Nowitzki, or Kevin Garnet? Who knows? I'd be lying to you if I pretended like I had the slightest idea. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed my running diary. In case you are wondering the final tallies were; 2 hot pockets, 2 bags of popcorn, 4 cans of mountain dew, and an amazing 1 bathroom break! (I have a bladder of steal!) If you really liked this and hope I do it more let me know! Feedback is always greatly appreciated. Have a great night and I hope you're happy with what your team selected.
The Sports Undergrad